how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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