My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
