i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
