I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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