i love accidental penises.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
