So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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