I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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