Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The beer is more important than you right now.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
