Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
