So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
