Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
