You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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