and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize