It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
