so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize