Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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