thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
