I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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