you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
In other news, I just burned my penis
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
