Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
