Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
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