The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
