We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize