Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
