So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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