What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
