So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize