her vagine was all disorganized.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
