This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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