We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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