My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
