DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
