Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
