we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Welp...herpes.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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