What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
