Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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