did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
