she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
