he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
