When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
