What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
now i know why i became what i already was.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
