It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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