There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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