She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
the liver wants what the liver wants
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
