Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
