the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
