Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize