Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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