I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
