They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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