I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Randomize
