you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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