could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Dicks are not precious.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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