I wannas sexs uuuuu
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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