She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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