At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
