Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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