I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
