So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I just gargled with NyQuil
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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