with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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