I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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