Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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