I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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