I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
