I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
