i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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