So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
