He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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