Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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