I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Randomize
