this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize