dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
