clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
