That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
