you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
