Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
This house was built for laser tag.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
