At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
