Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize