Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize