The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
