Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
