Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
