it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
