That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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